I know I missed a day. Call it a mental health break from blogging.

Yesterday, instead of blogging, I went out with some friends for dinner. From the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep, I think about the babies. And then when I’m sleeping, I dream about them.

For a couple of days, I have felt kind of useless because I can’t actually do much to help the babies and I have to rely on the nurses and doctors for pretty much everything. I do have work to be done, but it’s not quite the same as going to an office every day. It’s an adjustment that I wasn’t really planning to have to make and one I’m not really sure how to navigate. With that being said, taking a bit of time to distract some of my brain was wonderful.

As for the babies, they are all doing well. Aubrey’s incisions are healing and we’re waiting for him to poop (the nurses call it “stool” so we are waiting for him to “stool”). Lydia and Finn are on full feeds but their tummies are just a bit too small so they are getting their food over a period of 90 minutes.

Everything else is going well. They are stable and growing.

I held Lydia for almost 3 hours today. I love holding them because they are warm and snuggly and mine. Also because I know it’s very very good for them. But they are also warm and snuggly and that makes me get all sleepy. I’m not supposed to sleep while holding them and it’s hard to stay awake because I get so relaxed and I also get a bit bored. I feel bad about it, but I can’t see the babies because they’re tucked under my chin. I’m not really supposed to talk to them (apparently, one stimuli at a time is about all they can take). So I just sit there and fight off sleep. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but I do think next time, I’ll bring a Kindle.

I did have to get a little pushy today and request the night nurses put the boys in dandleroos (premie swaddles). The day nurse took them out. I didn’t know why and I didn’t ask. I should have, but I wasn’t sure how to do it kindly. The babies are all just so much happier when wrapped up like burritos.

I also talked to the Charge Nurse (I think that means, “nurse in charge”) to request that we have some stability in the nurses that are caring for the babies. We do have one nurse, Adam, who agreed to be our primary (meaning, with us as much as possible) but he hasn’t been assigned to us in a week. Instead, we haven’t had the same nurse twice in quite a while. That means the nurses don’t know what the babies looked like before, they don’t know us, and we don’t know them. I know we will have some variability, but I’d like there to be at least one nurse that seems them every week. Or maybe a few. So I asked for it. We will see if that helps.

I will update more tomorrow, with pictures!

I'm no medical professional but the babies did stay in the NICU last night.

I just typed out an entire post and then accidentally deleted it. In the interest of going to sleep, I’m going to give the cliff’s notes version and provide more information tomorrow:

1. Lydia is doing fantastically and her swelling has decreased and she’s at 70% feeds. She has enlarged ventricles in her brain but nothing that the doctor is concerned about. I will provide more information tomorrow.

2. Aubrey is doing great. He had the penrose drain removed today and the doctor feels confident the bowel perforation is closed. Hallelujah! He had an upset stomach today and vomited twice. He had a tube inserted in his stomach to try to relieve some of the fluid from his stomach and he hasn’t vomited since (nor has much been suctioned out). We are hoping the perforation didn’t heal so much that it created a blockage, but the doctor said it’s too soon to really worry about that.

3. Finn is much less swollen and is back on full feeds. His PDA is now “small” meaning the indomethacin treatment worked without complication (a bowel perforation). He will need steroids soon to help his lungs advance, but I don’t know when “soon is.”

4. I asked for prayer the other day for Peyton and her lung collapsed. Her parents informed me today that Peyton had a successful surgery and has gone home! Thank you all for including her in your prayers.

Aubrey Burrito

Now with CPAP upgrade!

Lydia Burrito

While a big burrito (1lb 6ox), she’s still a tiny baby!

Finn Burrito

Now with smaller PDA!

As I said, I’ll provide a more detailed update tomorrow. As for me and myself, it’s time for sleep!

Tiny but mighty.

Just look at those fingers. They are Lydia’s. Growing her very first fingernails. Her entire hand is just slightly larger than my fingernail. It’s amazing.

What’s even more amazing is how well such tiny humans heal, adapt and grow. Today, Lydia was restarted on eating milk. Her tummy was so much less swollen today and she was super active and moved around without issue. She is doing such a great job breathing and we’re so happy that she’s showing her brothers how to grow.

Aubrey is following suit and has done well on his first day on CPAP. Now he has a chin strap and plastic tubing and will have a scrunched up little face (the doctors have assured me they won’t stick like that!). He still had a bit draining from the surgery and so the surgeon moved the removal date to tomorrow. However, we know his stomach and intestines are working because he pooped today!

Finn has also done well after the indomethacin. They are feeding him milk again and he will get the ultrasound of his heart tomorrow. Hopefully, the pda is closed or much smaller.

All of the babies are having follow up brain scans, tomorrow, too. The first were negative for any bleeds and we are praying the second scans will have the same results.

Christmas in the NICU

Every child deserves to have a Christmas regardless of whether they’re in the NICU. The babies received their very first Christmas stockings from our friends the Sibandas. The nurses love them and Brise and I plan to keep the stockings stuffed with treats for them. The stockings are perfect because I believe one thing that I will pass onto my children is a love for glitter.

Finn

You can see his footprint in the “tree” in the back of the pickup truck.

Lydia

Her footprint is the head of the reindeer.

Aubrey

His footprint is also a tree, like his brother’s.

We also received a number of updates on the babies today. I suppose one might expect the weekends to be slow, but healthcare doesn’t work that way.

Aubrey continues to heal well from his surgery and the surgeons were planning to begin ooching (that’s the word they used) the drain from his tummy today. Additionally, his breathing has been so good that they extubated him and have tried him on the CPAP again. We are hopeful he will do well this time.

Lydia has a swollen tummy and her bowels are “loopy.” An x-ray showed that her bowels are not perforated (like Aubrey’s were), but they are reducing her food as a precaution to help prevent any damage. She does have a lot of air in her abdomen, but this can happen to babies while they are on the CPAP. The doctor isn’t super concerned, but she’s on a watch list.

Finn hasn’t peed very much. The doctor has told us that this is a good sign because it indicates the indomethacin is working. He will pee again soon and will received the final dose of indomethacin. He is scheduled for an ultrasound of his heart on Monday at which time we will see if his PDA has gotten smaller (or even closed). We are hopeful that this will work. Still, there is a chance that Finn will require a steroid treatment to help his lungs develop even more. We also learned that babies who have lungs that have trouble developing will often be “swollen” in appearance. This will apparently remain until Finn has been home for 3-4 months. That’s the first time the doctor has mentioned the babies coming home and I know it’s still months away, but it was great to even think about.

Papa John came to visit!

The NICU has shut down to visitors except for parents and grandparents in light of flu season. Today, the babies’ grandfather came to visit. It was a great day to visit as the babies are continuing to improve.

Aubrey is back in a regular isolette, has had no morphine today. has had very little drainage from his belly, ad is showing signs of having his belly work (it grumbles when the nurses listen). He is also doing a great job on his respirator and has gone down on his support for the third day in a row. He can’t be switched to the CPAP like his sister until at least after the drain has been removed and he has had a few days of continued stability.

Lydia continues to be a rockstar. She had her Picc line removed today and is no longer receiving fat supplements because she is eating enough milk not to need them. Every line that is removed is another step (albeit a very small one) in the direction of coming home.

Finn had a great day! He maintained his stats even when being touched and held. He received 2 doses of indomethacin today and so far so good. We also got my favorite picture of him yet!

No news is good news!

With the warning of the roller coaster of the NICU, I thought only of ups and downs. But anyone who has played Roller Coaster Tycoon as much as I have knows that plateaus are a necessary part of roller coasters. Today was a straightaway.

Aubrey was moved back to a Giraffe incubator, which is the type of incubator his siblings have been in since they were born. This is a minor change, but good news because it means that the doctors feel the surgical incubator is probably no longer necessary (i.e., Aubrey probably won’t need another surgery anytime soon). He has a bit of discoloration on his tummy still, but it’s a small bit. He is no longer on the morphine drip and is receiving pain medication only as necessary, which was only once today. His vitals are all excellent and he is breathing really well. And, that red/pink discharge in his lungs? That’s gone! So maybe we don’t have to worry about that PDA from before. But we don’t know that yet.

Lydia is up to 50% of her maximum feeds and weighs 1lb 6 oz today. She is very close to her birth weight and I expect she’ll be there by Monday. She really loves sleeping in her swaddle and, really, that’s all she does every day. Which is a great thing. That’s what she’d be doing if she were still in my tummy.

Finn got moved to an incubator that offers less support. (Aubrey had been moved to one but then he had the perforated bowel.) That’s also good news. He’s doing really well. They did do an EKG on his heart because he has a heart murmur and because he hasn’t advanced as fast as they’d like on his breathing support. What this means is that he requires a pretty decent amount of pressure to keep his lungs moving, but also a higher than preferred amount of oxygen is necessary to keep him from desatting (keeping his blood oxygen level from going too low). He is also the least tolerant of being touched or moved. When he has his care times (they change his diaper, check all of his tubes and monitors and move him), he desats and his heart rate and blood pressure climb. Despite these things, I did hold him last night for the first time! The doctors have said holding him frequently will really help him realize that not all touching is stressful.

He has a pretty large PDA (which, remember, is very normal in premature babies). The doctors have recommended that we treat him with the indomethacin. You may recall that I had had a bit of a panic and called a friend about this treatment when they were planning to treat Aubrey with it. Still relying on the advice of my friend, Dr. Patrick Jackson, the Virologist, I asked the doctor the following questions:

1. What are we hoping to get out of this treatment? Answer: the PDA to close which will hopefully allow his lungs to work a bit less so he can be on less support. Removing him from lung support sooner will help his lungs become stronger which will reduce the risk of lung complications in the future.

2. What will they do to reduce the risk of the bowel perforation? Answer: The doctors believe his risk is already rather low because of his age and size. However, they are reducing his feeds to a minimal amount to minimize the stress on his intestines. If his bowels become perforated, they would know within 3 days, so after the 3 days, they will resume full feeds. (In the meantime, he’ll be on that fancy Powerade again.) They will also monitor him very closely for a bowel perforation so, if one should happen, they can act quickly.

Emotionally, I’m in a much better place for this treatment on Finn than I was for the same treatment on Aubrey. (And for those of you who know Brise, my being more calm about it means that Brise is in a better place, too).

Today’s prayer requests: 1. That Aubrey continues to heal, 2. That Finn handles the indomethacin well. 3. For Peyton, who is not my baby, but is someone else’s, and is going on her 7th day of a struggle with a collapsed lung. Please pray for her healing and her parents.

Thank you, Susie and Family!

Having babies in the NICU has opened a door to a world I never really considered before. I have known people who had children who were in the NICU but I never understood the worry and fear that would permeate each day. I also never realized how much even the smallest things would make such a large impact. This is already a very isolating experience and it often feels as though we are in a dark maze. We don’t know where it leads or even when the next turn will be. Knowing people care and receiving kind words and support nourishes our spirits and helps us keep going.

Of the infinite things we didn’t know was that certain things can offer comfort for the babies. Skin to skin contact is a HUGE thing, but so is just giving the babies a bit of cloth that smells like mom and dad. Another thing is a knitted or crocheted octopus. We never knew.

But my cousin Susie knew! Two days ago, we received, all the way from Pennsylvania, hand knitted octopi for the babies. Susie sent us 6 of them, 3 in “very tiny” and 3 in “tiny.” The very tiny ones were the perfect size for our babies and we’ve given them each one. Lydia has benefited the most because she gets fussy during her care times and tries to pull the CPAP respirator out of her nose (I don’t blame her). Instead, the nurse puts the little octopus tentacle in her hand and she squeezes that instead.

You can just barely see her little hand right by her chin clasping a tentacle.

Aubrey has his near his face so he can smell it (I washed it and then held it for about 6 hours so it would smell like me), but he’s been floating away on his morphine too much to really hold on to it.

Even the teeny-tiny octopus is 1/2 the size of Aubrey, who is much more relaxed today!

Finn has found a new love for his ear and won’t have anything to do with the octopus. Instead, he likes to cover his ears and his cheek. It’s still in his isolette and available for him when he does want it.

As for the other three, the larger three, there is another set of triplets who are a bit bigger than ours (they weigh about 3lbs each!) and, with Susie’s permission, I gave them the octopi.

Not only has Susie’s gift helped our babies and the other triplets, but it’s given me something to do - learn to make octopi myself. I can knit and crochet squares and it can’t be that much harder to make a ball with tentacles, right? Only time will tell.

Thank you, Susie!

Today has been a good day!

Aubrey had a very good day. The surgeon said that Aubrey is progressing as expected after his surgery. He received a blood transfusion today and his color is amazingly better. One thing we’ve learned while having the babies in the NICU is that blood and platelet transfusions are very common. The babies are so tiny and their blood is drawn frequently for tests. Their little bodies just can’t keep up. So they get blood and/or platelets when necessary. Donors for preemies have to go through extra screenings to qualify, so the babies are getting some premium quality blood!

Speaking of blood being drawn, Aubrey had blood drawn for his 6th blood culture today. The great thing is that the last blood culture he had done (yesterday) finally showed positive for a bacteria (a type of gram negative staphylococcus). The bacteria is one that is easily treated and Aubrey’s antibiotics were changed from the broad-spectrum antibiotics to three specific antibiotics. He will be on one of them for at least 10 days. His white blood cell count was down for the first time in five days, which means his little body can relax a bit since the antibiotic is helping him out. Right now, Aubrey is being treated with morphine for pain so he’s definitely zoned out. He is still a bit feisty when the nurses irritate him (surprisingly, that’s not during blood draws, but rather during benign times, like taking his temperature in his armpit).

There is a washcloth on his face to protect his eyes from the heat lamp above. Even sedated, he wants to see the world.

Lydia is still breathing like a champion. She is our only baby who is not intubated and she’s doing a great job. She still has “Bradys,” which is NICU language for bradycardia. Bradycardia is when a heart rate slows abnormally. For preemies, it happens frequently when the baby “forgets” to breathe. Sometimes, they remember to breathe by themselves (the best) and sometimes, they need a reminder (brushing them on the foot, re-positioning them, or sometimes giving them extra oxygen). 9 out of 10 times, Lydia remembers to breathe on her own but occasionally she needs a reminder. She has not had Bradys that last for longer than a few seconds and the doctors aren’t worried. However, while she still has them, they will leave the chin strap on her. The chin strap helps her keep her mouth closed so she doesn’t breathe out of that and instead can rely on the CPAP. It also makes her face all scrunched up so she looks kind of irritated all the time. She also LOVES being swaddled so we never want to disturb her because she sleeps constantly with an angry look on her face. Lydia is at 20% feeds, which means that she is eating 20% of the maximum amount of milk that she should eat.

Lydia, like her mother, dresses for comfort over style!

Finn is catching up with his brother size-wise and now weighs 1lb 15.2 oz (just under 2lbs!). That’s 50g more than when he was born (about 1/10 of a lb). He is an eating champ and is at 80% feeds. They’ve stopped his lipids (a fat supplement consisting of soy, fish, coconut and olive oils). This is great news because as soon as he is eating only milk, they can remove the PIC line, which cuts down on one more source of infection. It’s also good because the goal of the NICU is to get the babies to the point that all of their organs and systems are developed as they would in the womb. Finn’s breathing is still a bit behind his siblings’ but he’s working hard every day to improve.

Finn just opened his eyes yesterday and he’s eager to peek out at the world!

Moving Forward

I called the hospital a couple of times last night to check on Aubrey. I was getting some news of “no change” which was better news than it could have been. At 7:00 A.M., I received a call from the doctor that Aubrey had an x-ray that showed that his bowel had been perforated. I had suspected this was the case - it explained the infection and the swollen belly. But the doctor needed more than a hunch before calling a surgeon. The x-ray confirmed the suspicions this morning.

Brise and I came straight to the hospital (while sending out calls for prayers to many people who were quick to provide support) and met with Dr. Cosper, a pediatric surgeon. He explained that because Aubrey weighs less than 1,000 grams, the plan would be to insert small drains in his abdomen to allow the release of gas and feces. Because he is so tiny, his intestines have the ability to self-repair damage. That means that just allowing the abdomen to drain (while giving him a strong dose of broad-spectrum antibiotics) will hopefully be sufficient to get Aubrey all better. There is a chance that the intestines won’t heal themselves, in which case the doctors would need to do another surgery to create an ostomy (taking the injured part of the intestine outside of the body to empty) while we wait for Aubrey to grow bigger and stronger. Once he was bigger and stronger, the surgeon could sew up the hole and put the intestine back where it belongs. We should know if this is necessary within a few days.

The other risk Aubrey is fighting is that the perforation, when it heals, creates a blockage. Because Aubrey is going back to a diet of fancy IV Powerade, we won’t learn of a blockage until he restarts eating milk and does so successfully. Therefore, it will be about a month until we know that he doesn’t have a blockage.

For now, the doctor has downgraded Aubrey’s level of concern from a 6 to a 5 (it escalated to an 8 this morning) and Aubrey is resting under sedation.

Aubrey's Surgical Bed

It’s right where his normal bed was, but it’s all open.

It is a setback

Aubrey is not doing well. There seem to be myriad issues and just like practicing law isn’t like the Good Wife or Perry Mason, practicing medicine is nothing like House or The Good Doctor. Despite having the best possible care, the doctors aren’t sure what is wrong with him. His belly is swollen, but so is his entire body, even his toes. His activity is low. His white blood cell count is really high. He hasn’t been urinating like he should (his skill has always been peeing). He also hasn’t been very good at pooping today.

He is no longer red, but he’s also very pale. You can tell that his belly is puffy and his little toes are like tiny sausages.

The doctors are very attentive and have taken an aggressive approach. He has been on antibiotics for a couple of days, but they’ve changed the antibiotic to something stronger that fights a broader spectrum of bacteria. They are giving him more fluids and have inserted a tube into his belly (through his mouth) that will help relieve some of the gas in his tummy. They have put him on dopamine to help him urinate and given him glycerin to help him poop. He also has had a few x-rays to look at his belly and intestines. Those have come back showing no concerns. They have drawn blood to grow for a culture to try to identify the bacteria causing the infection. They have done this twice already, but nothing has grown. The doctor explained this may be because they can only take 1ml of blood at a time because he’s so small. In adults, they take 10ml to do a proper culture. It may be that nothing has grown because the sample size is too small.

If he gets worse, they may consider doing surgery to see if they can identify the problem in his abdomen.

The doctor hopes that the treatment will help Aubrey improve some by tomorrow morning. Right before Brise and I left this morning, Aubrey was able to urinate a little, which is a great sign.

I like numbers and charts and percentages and they can’t give me anything like that. I spent today filled with anxiety. The weather in Charlotte has been rough and we have been under a winter advisory warning, so Brise and I didn’t go to the hospital earlier today. We went in at 5:30 so the doctor could tell us the result of the xrays and because I wanted to let Aubrey know we love him and are proud of him for fighting so hard. While there, the doctor told me that if she had to rate their health on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being phenomenal and 10 being “concerned about dying within an hour,” Aubrey would be at a 6 and Finn and Lydia would both be at a 1. Perhaps having a scale would make other people’s anxiety increase, but it helped me because it gave me some sort of context.

Aubrey needs prayers right now. He’s got the best medicine can offer him. I plan to call the hospital around 2 AM (when I’m up anyway), but I know they’ll call me if there are any issues.

Was this a setback?

We have been cautioned that the stay in the NICU will be a roller coaster full of ups and downs. The hard part is that we don’t know what those downs will be or when they will happen.

Today, the doctor called me and the first words she said were “Don’t panic.” I’m not sure of any words that could be better used to cause panic. She followed by explaining that last night, Aubrey was not as active as he usually is and his belly seemed swollen. They did an x-ray and his bowels seemed fine and his lungs seemed fine. However, yesterday, they tried to extubate him (remove the tube in his lungs that helps him breathe) and he did well but the level of C02 in his blood increased. That indicated that he couldn’t breathe deeply enough on his own. Because of that, they intubated him again (put the tube back in). Brise and I weren’t upset by this because we had been warned that this happens regularly. It is a big surprise that Lydia has gone this long on only the CPAP (the next step after extubation).

In addition to the lack of activity, Aubrey had some blood in his lungs. I had thought it was from all the activity he had in his lungs. They treated it will some cold saline and I thought that was that. But they did a whole blood cell count and his white blood cells were elevated. So the conclusion is that they may want to treat his PDA tube.

This led me down a spiral because I didn’t understand how everything was related. So I called on my mother-in-law who is a nurse practitioner to help me. She called the hospital and spoke with the nurses there and then she translated for me. She was very reassuring but I still just was stuck. So I called on my old college debate partner, Patrick Jackson, who is a doctor but one who studies viruses. With the caveat that he doesn’t do anything with children and it’s out of his wheelhouse, he let me rattle off everything I had heard and then helped me translate the foreign language the doctors have been speaking. This is what I have put together:

When babies are in the womb, they don’t use their lungs. Instead, they get oxygen through the placenta. However, they are still using their heart. In fully formed babies , children, and adults, our lungs supply oxygen to our blood every time we breath through little veins in the lungs (capillaries). So, how does an undeveloped baby prevent blood from going through the lungs? They have a tube/hole between the parts of the heart that creates a bypass from the lungs called a PDA. Some babies and most premature babies are born with the PDA still in place and, generally, it will grow closed on its own. Both Lydia and Aubrey have the PDA still in place. We have been waiting for it to close.

Aubrey peeking at me

He was in an extra-large pamper (for him) because his tummy has a little irritation. The diaper was left open to give his tummy skin a break.

Aubrey's Old Plastic Castle

The top was lifted off to make it easier to transition him.

For Aubrey, the doctors are watching because they believe the open PDA may be causing a pressure issue or other problem so that the blood that is going through the lungs (because now it is) is being impacted by the PDA causing the capillaries to leak blood. To fix that, they would need to treat Aubrey with medication that will treat the PDA. However, that medication may cause a bowel perforation (which is very bad).

What I think is important is that the PDA is not necessarily an issue so the medication is not necessary. If it does become necessary, I will speak to the doctors and ask them how they monitor for a bowel perforation and what they do to treat the perforation if one should happen.

We know the doctors wouldn’t do anything put any of our babies at unnecessary risk and we are comfortable following their advice. However, only after relying on family and friends to help me process what the doctors were telling me was I finally able to take a step back from my anxiety.

Kangaroo Care

Skin-to-skin contact between baby and parents is extremely important. It’s also something I craved but was told we wouldn’t be able to have until the babies were stable enough. I don’t know if someone misspoke or if it was all of the pain killers from the hospital, but they had told me it wouldn’t be for 3-4 weeks. I’d been hoping we would be able to hold the babies for Christmas.

Well, Christmas came early.

Because Aubrey has been doing so well and they had taken him off humidity, the nurses were switching him to a new plastic castle (also known as an isolette). While they made the change, they let me hold him. It was so amazing. Transitioning was a bit upsetting for him and he was definitely a bit bewildered. At eight days old, he had never been cuddled. He got the hiccups for a while and then just fell asleep. He fell asleep and I fell asleep and it was the best 45 minutes of my life.

Today, Brise was able to hold Lydia.

Lydia, still weighing less than 1.5 lbs, could only be held for a little while. She did get covered with a blanket, but her temperature still dropped pretty quickly.

Thank you MetroTech & Hendrick Auto Group

One of the scary parts of having triplets, even outside of the NICU, is going from zero babies to three babies overnight! Brise and I have wanted children for sometime and we certainly prayed and hoped. However, at no point did we expect that we would have three at the same time. My first reaction when I realized we’d have three babies was shock. Brise’s was to ask if this meant we needed six car seats (three for each car).

My friend Hadley threw me a baby shower and we have benefited from the generosity of our friends and family. However, the needs of triplets is quite overwhelming.

Yesterday, MetroTech, where Brise works, and Hendrick Auto Group, threw Brise a cookout (it was more like a cook-in) where everyone brought diapers. Despite being a group of mostly men, Brise’s employer and co-workers pulled together in an amazing way. It’s night and day from how many other workplaces would react to the uncertainty of triplets! Not only did they fill my car with diapers, they also completed our set of car seats! We are ever so grateful!

Progress every day!

Today has been a good day! Brise and I went to the weekly dinner for NICU parents sponsored by Pierce’s Project. There, we met the parents of the other set of triplets in the NICU. Their babies have been in the NICU for 8 weeks and were born at 24 weeks old. They told us about some of the things they have learned and they told us about their method of tracking their babies’ progress - a premie journal. I’m thinking about getting one, but I think this blog may serve the same purpose for us. They also let us meet their babies and the progress they have made in 8 weeks is amazing! It gave us hope because we can see how much is possible in just 8 weeks.

It was also a good day for the babies!

Aubrey and Lydia both got PICC lines today. Finn already had his PICC line from a couple of days ago. Each baby has had his/her own strengths and weakness.

Aubrey has had respiratory trouble - he had a lung bleed and has had to have three doses of surfactant to keep his lungs from sticking closed. But, Aubrey has been our champion pee-er. Some babies don’t urinate for days and that can be really dangerous. Aubrey’s urinary tract has worked great. Today we learned that he is also our first baby to poo. It’s not something we ever thought we’d celebrate, but the news really made us feel great. It’s a milestone and one that Aubrey has reached first. Aubrey also has gained weight. All babies lose weight after birth and our babies have been no exception. But Aubrey is only 2 oz under his birthweight having gained about 3 oz in the past couple of days and weighing 2lbs today! He’s been eating about 2oz of milk each day in addition to the fancy NICU powerade. Aubrey is also on about 24% oxygen, which is only 3% more than normal air. He is definitely improving at breathing!

Finn has been our blood pressure champion. He has maintained his blood pressure since the beginning. He has also been eating milk since Sunday and is digesting it all! He has had a PICC line since Tuesday. All of this has helped him gain weight so he is now 1lb 11 oz, 3 oz below his birth weight. Not only that, but they may try to extubate him tomorrow. That means they’ll remove the tube that gives his lungs air and he will instead be breathing with the assistance of only a bubble cpap. That’s a great step forward and we are so proud of the progress he is making!

Lydia has been our breathing champion. She has been on the bubble cpap since Saturday and has been a champion. The doctors had expected to have to intubate her again, but so far, she has been breathing just fine. Lydia’s weakness has been her blood pressure and she has been on dopamine since birth to keep her blood pressure high enough. Today, however, she went cold turkey and has exceeded expectations, keeping her blood pressure up all day! We couldn’t be more proud! Not only that, but she’s been eating milk today and has managed to digest most of it.

All of our babies are doing such a good job and fighting so hard. Brise and I are amazed by how strong our babies are.

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Finn snuggled

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I changed Finn's diaper!

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Peekabo behind Finn's Sunglasses

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Finn hasn't opened his eyes yet

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Finn is going to be tall!

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Taking Finn's Temperature

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Wow!

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Aubrey chewing his fingers!

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Aubrey was on the blue light

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Lydia loves to be swaddled!

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Lydia's eating

Baby Names!

I realized that I haven’t posted the baby names here. Although we thought the babies wouldn’t arrive for at least 8 more weeks and then the hospital had told us we had 30 days after the babies were born to name them. Despite this, the birth certificate lady called me twice each day asking for names. Brise and I still haven’t held our babies and their faces have been obscured by tubes and tape since minutes after their birth. It’s hard to make such a permanent decision for beings that hardly seem real. After much discussion and perhaps a little argument, we reached names that we believe are absolutely perfect.

Finn Monroe Walle - Baby B

We found out that we were pregnant in Finland. We know the name Finn is Irish, but we are using it as a call back to the wonderful country that welcomed us as though it were a second home. Finn also was born with a head full of blonde hair and we know it may change, but he got the name Finn as it means “fair” or “white.”

Monroe, Finn’s middle name, is a call back to Brise’s great grandfather who invented the shock absorber in what is now Monroe, MI.

Lydia Norma Jean Walle - Baby C

Our baby girl is named after two of the strongest women we know. Brise’s grandmother Lydia, without whom we wouldn’t have any of our babies, provided her first name. Brise’s gradmother is a force of nature, clever, a great scrabble player, and very thoughtful. Her middle name is Norma Jean, which is my grandmother’s name. My grandmother has always been my favorite person and she may be tiny, but she is an incredibly strong, feisty, and loving woman.

Aubrey Michael Walle - Baby A

Aubrey was my great grandfather’s name. I love the name and I love that my great grandfather raised my grandfather who has coddled me and loved me since the day I was born. He’s shown me unconditional love, he’s taken care of my grandmother while she hasn’t been well, and he is the patriarch of my family, having reared four children of his own, children who are my aunts and uncles and have provided a wonderful family who has loved me.

Brise’s mom’s name is Michelle, and Aubrey’s middle name is the masculine form. It goes without saying that Brise’s mother has had a monumental impact on our lives. She also was mother to three children - two boys and a girl. Brise and I both hope to pull from all of our parental figures in the hopes that we can do at least 1/2 as good of the job they have done.

Cutest Pampers Ever!

If you ever wondered what type of diapers the NICU uses, the answer is Pampers! They use pampers diapers and pampers wipes. They also use industrial unscented laundry detergent (although the nurses have declared we can bring items washed in whatever and that Dreft smells delectable) and off-brand aquaphor.

I know these things because we went last night for care time, where the babies all get little baths (basically, gentle touches with a wipe), have their mouths cleaned (they can’t swallow but also can’t close their mouths because of feeding/breathing tubes) with what look and sound like the same things a dentist uses for suction, have all of their dressings and wires changed/moved (prevents pressure sores), and have their diapers changed. Despite being small, the boys still like to pee as soon as they are uncovered. Finn made a great deal of a mess but, as a result, got all new blankets and the cutest little swaddle.

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The amazing thing is even with the miniature size of the diapers, they still have to be rolled down at the top to fit on even Aubrey, the biggest of the three.

All Swaddled Up

Most preterm babies will experience jaundice. Jaundice occurs when bilirubin levels are high. While babies are in the womb, the placenta removes bilirubin; once they’re born, the baby’s own liver does the work. Because our babies are all preterm, their livers are still working to catch up. Since they’ve been born, the doctors have been working to make sure that the bilirubin levels are controlled to prevent any harm to the babies. They do this through photo-therapy in the form of blue light treatment. To protect the baby’s eyes, the nurses provide the world’s tiniest eye mask. Because the light is absorbed through the skin, the babies are kept warm through extra heat in their isolette, not blankets or clothes. Tonight, both Lydia and Finn are off the blue light and for the first time ever, they were swaddled. Although Brise and I are just learning the babies’ personalities, we both could tell that Lydia and Finn are much happier all tucked in and snuggled! I never imagined being wrapped in a blanket would be a milestone for my children, but it is and I’m so glad they have been able to finally experience it!

Snug as a bug

Finn’s first swaddle!

Photo Update

Yesterday, I was released from the hospital. Although being in the hospital wasn’t really fun, it was nice because the babies were 3 minutes down the hall. Being at home is tough because now they’re 20 minutes away and it’s a big production to get there. I have to pump, get dressed, shower, eat, take medication, pump, and then have Brise drive us. Then we have to park, go to the NICU and then just look at the babies in their plastic cages (known as isolettes). It’s hard because it’s far away and then we get there and I feel really helpless. We talk to the babies and it’s clear they can hear us (they will wiggle or sometimes open their eyes), but we can’t hold them and so far Brise and I are pretty afraid to touch them. They are so small and fragile. Rex, Brise’s brother, pointed out that they’re basically fetuses who are in an artificial womb. It’s hard. They aren’t supposed to be touched yet. They should be safely in my tummy still. But that’s not the path they’re on. Instead, they have a team of very dedicated nurses and doctors who draw their blood daily (which leads to their needing blood and platelet transfusions), monitor every heartbeat, and track every breath they take (The Police would be proud). Meanwhile, Brise and I can only really stand and look in. I’m still recovering so I only have about an hour of standing in me before I have to sit down. It’s an experience I never imagined and one for which I was totally unprepared.

While we were in the hospital, though, we took lots of pictures of the babies. I wasn’t updating this blog then, but the pictures show where they started.

Birth Information

They changed their names - Baby B was Baby C while she was in my tummy and Baby C was Baby B. They gave them new initials based on when they were born.

Baby Girl

Brise took this picture immediately after Baby C, our girl, was born. The babies were whisked off to a special room to get them on immediate support while I was still on the operating table.

Baby A?

I cannot tell if this is Baby A or Baby B, but he is one of the boys. I believe it’s Baby A because he has the bigger, rounder, tummy.

Life Saving Measures

I never saw this room, but it is a special “closet” off the operating room where they check the vital signs of babies and prepare them to enter the NICU if necessary.

First View for Mom

We went to the hospital totally not expecting to have the babies that night. I was super thirsty and just desperately wanted water. Once I passed the nausea test after the surgery, they allowed me a cup of ice chips. Before taking me to my room, they rolled me to the NICU to see the babies. I don’t remember this trip at all. Everything happened so quickly, I don’t think I quite understood that the babies were there, in plastic cases, instead of in my babies.

Baby C?

I don’t know if I’m a bad mother because I’m not sure who this is, but I’m pretty sure she’s Baby C. She looks like the tiniest baby and she looks like her profile from her ultrasounds.

Baby B

Again, I’m not certain this is Baby B, but I think that head of hair is his. The babies are all covered with lanugo still, which is hair that all babies have in the womb. Most shed it before they are born, but ours haven’t quite had the chance yet.

Hand Hugs

Our babies’ skin is so very think that touches are not strokes, but gentle presses on their feet or heads. It helps them feel snuggled and it’s good for us to touch them with love. All of their other touches are poking and prodding and generally, just a bit rude!

Polka Dots

One of the pregnancy forums I was on had suggested bringing a maternity hospital gown for the stay after giving birth. I had purchased two, and I’m so glad we had them. Recovery was a bit tough and it felt good to be able to be fully covered and wearing something that wasn’t as clinical feeling.

A view from my chair

The toughest part of recovery and not being able to stand was that I had an even more limited view of the babies. For the most part, this is what I was able to see for the first 4 days after the babies were born.

Daddy talking to his baby girl

Happy Birthday, Baby A, Baby B, and Baby C!

For a few weeks, the doctors had been warning me that the babies would be here soon, sometime between “tomorrow” and six weeks from then. Having never had babies before, I assumed that the babies would stick to my plan and arrive mid-January 2019. It would be best for them and me and how hard could it be to keep some babies where they belong? Answer: Impossible.

On Wednesday, November 28, 2018, I started to feel contractions. I didn’t know it was contractions. I felt them Wednesday night through Thursday. After Brise came home from work, the mystery discomfort I was feeling continued. I wasn’t sure what it was (I didn’t suspect contractions, though, because it wasn’t time for those and what I felt didn’t match what everyone had told me contractions would be). I searched google, couldn’t figure it out, called a couple friends who are new mothers (and therefore couldn’t answer), and finally called Brise’s mom. Brise’s mom said we should go to the hospital just to be checked out - the worst they’d do is send me home. So away we went. We arrived at approximately 8:30 P.M. and I fully expected them to send me home. I explained that I was having pain lasting approximately 45 seconds every 3-4 minutes and I was confused. Well, they weren’t confused and by 11:00 I was in the operating room. By 11:30, all three of our babies had been delivered and whisked off to the care of medical teams. At 26.5 weeks, the babies will need a lot of assistance from skilled medical staff, loving family, and prayer. We will use this blog to keep everyone updated on their progress!